Oh my

This week went to battle with me, and I'm not yet sure who won. Late nights and early mornings were the week long theme. I turned in 6 projects, had one major practical, and one major test, and I am spent like my last red cent, but this afternoon I pressed on. I made some oreos (recipe from smitten kitchen) for the class picnic tomorrow, because sometimes you just have to make time for fun. Some days weeks, you have to laugh so you don't cry. Even in all the mistakes I made this week, the master cast that broke when I took off the acrylic, the bread that would never rise and resembled a smooth white rock, the way that my sweet husband had no cell phone service the many times this week I really needed his shoulder to cry on, that when he finally did get service, I was too busy to really talk to him, there was still goodness in every day. I can feel my mind stretching to fit more latin words than I ever thought could fit it. I can see improvement in my hand skills. The handpiece used to feel so awkward and heavy in my hand, and although I still have so very far to go, it's starting to feel just right. I know this is what I was made to do, even if I'm not proficient at it yet, I am working hard, and that gives me so many reasons to smile. Sometimes I need to step back and look at how far I've come. Dental school is not for the faint of heart. Most days are a tug of war between failure and success. I often feel as if I am struggling just to keep my head above water, and then suddenly, if only for a moment, I feel as if I am swimming, and all my fears of sinking flitter away. I needed to write this down, to put this stake in the sand, because finals week is looming and I can already start to feel a tugging at my feet. 

So here is a toast to happy things:

to being happily married

to having a clean house and a made bed

to baking (both epic wins and epic failures)

To words like peduncle and homonculus

To realizing how beautifully complicated our minds and bodies are

To talking to my husband after four days of no cell service

To realizing that what used to take me 4 hours now takes me less than 1

To resting easy and having no fear

To soft music and candlelight

To air conditioning

To sweet dreams

To love

To life

This week went to battle with me, 

and I'm pretty sure I won.