Thursday, September 30, 2010

2 years and counting

Our anniversary was perfect. It wasn't fancy or expensive, which was appropriate since I am neither. Korey was at a loss at what to do at first. We talked about it all weekend and made plans and changed plans and threw "You just plan it" back and forth. I spent all of Saturday and Sunday working at the school to prepare for my test and practical so I'm sure I wasn't the most patient or kind, and for that I am truly sorry. I am not always so graceful under pressure. And I love traditions and special days more than Korey does, so I'm sure he was feeling pressure to live up to my expectations. He feels like we should treat every day as if it were our anniversary. He has always been more practical than the traditional romantic. As I have said before, he has always been more likely to carry my shoes than hold my hand,

He has a servant's heart, and although I never thought to ask for that in a husband, I've found that it is one of my very favorite things about him. 

I am the queen of traditions. I love honoring a memory by repetition. I love communion, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas traditions. So when Korey bought cookies because we ate them last year instead of year old wedding cake, 

and took me to Mellow mushroom for pizza because that is what we ate on our wedding night since we didn't get to eat very much at our wedding reception, 

It was all that I needed to feel special and loved and like I married the perfect man for me.

He also made me double layer hershey bar brownies

bought me flowers

Mexican Coke

and made me bruschetta for lunch.

Sometimes school is so overflowing with intensity, pressure to perform, and criticism. And then I come home and I am a total failure at being a housewife. I have to study instead of clean, or some days when I should be cleaning, I avoid it because it all feels so insurmountable. It's enough to make a person want to crawl into bed and I would be lying if I said it never got to me to come home from a 12 hour work day at school and have more work to do. Such is life. I'm trying to be content with who I am, with what I have. A happy house, even if it's more likely to be messy than clean. A happy woman, even if I am more likely to be healthy than skinny. A great dentist, even if I cannot be perfect. I will never live up to that image of a skinny woman in her apron cleaning a house that already looks clean, but I do strive to be better than I am right now. Maybe do one more load of laundry, run one more mile in the morning before class, practice one more prep before I head home for the day.

And when I get home for the day, I try to remind myself that I am so blessed to be married to my best friend, the man who knows exactly how to make me melt, and loves me, even when the clothes don't get folded and the dishes don't get washed. 

It's not such a hard knock life.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Our Second Anniversary

Our second anniversary is on Monday.

Honestly, in a lot of ways, I still feel like a newlywed. It's almost as if we just got married a few weeks ago. Maybe it's because our lives are still so simple. We rent a small house. We're always struggling financially. We are always dreaming of someday, the house we'll have, the dental practice and how we'll run it. Today I've been dreaming of what we'll do for our 10th or 15th anniversary, especially since we won't be able to really celebrate this year. I have a test and a practical on tuesday, the day after our anniversary. So I've been dreaming of renewing our vows someday on a faraway beach or boat at sunset and the lanterns we'll release into the sky to the tune of"Till Kingdom Come" by Coldplay or "The One I Love" by David Gray. 

(I got that idea and the picture above from Kelle Hampton. They did this for her dad's 60th birthday and played "Forever Young." Her blog is amazing. You should check it out.)

It is so hard to live in the moment, to want the things that I already have. It is so much easier to think about things I want. I see pictures of the compassion child we support and how little other people have and the guilt starts setting in. I am so blessed. I have a roof over my head and food on my table. I have a full life, my sweet family and friends and work. I have the opportunity to be in dental school. Korey said to me the other day, "Just think, there is someone out there that would love the chance to be in your shoes" and I remember what it felt like to feel that way, to want to be accepted more than anything, but it is so hard to keep that attitude when I'm drowning in lab work and waking up at 4:30 in the morning to study. Every once in a while I'll get a glimpse of what I felt before, that love for knowledge and the feeling of finding what you were made to do. And then I'm back to treading water and dreaming of the day that I can do the backstroke with the sun on my face. Until then, I am counting my blessings, starting with my sweet, smart, supportive husband.

and my sweet Clover, asleep at my feet. 

So many things to be thankful for.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Down by the river again

Do you remember this photograph from the canal?

At first I thought it was a joke, but no. There are alligators in the canal and some of them have wandered over to the river side too....but don't ask me about the shark. There wasn't a sign for sharks.

Of course we went to the river again. It's our favorite place in city. It's beautiful, and I get depressed if I  go weeks and months without seeing some form of nature.

When I did my preceptorship as a nurse, a lot of the girls would take smoke breaks. It really wasn't fair. I was always having to watch their patients so that they could go get their nicotine fix. I was working 7-7 so I never saw the sunlight, and life in the florescent lights isn't too uplifting. So after a few weeks of being "the girl who doesn't ever take a break," I started taking them. I knew I could never get into smoking. I can't stand the smell of it, so I just took sunshine breaks. I got a few interesting looks, but I had built up some favors, so no one said anything when I said, "Hey, will you watch Mr. HIPAA, I need to go take a sunshine break?" It made all the difference in the world.

The river is such a carefree place and our little puppy is the least worried of the three of us. No crown preps, no dentures, no problems. Just water and worn rocks and a bouncy, floppy puppy. Just what I needed after skipping lunch and spending four more hours in the lab after class. 

I feel like a proud mother. Every facial expression is different to me. I always take so many pictures of her. Usually, this means that there is little to no evidence that I was ever there. This time, I asked Korey if he would take a picture of me with Clover. He did a pretty good job. 

And then our bouncy girl went right back into the water.

and bounced in line right behind Korey. She loves to follow him.

All too soon, the break was over and we climbed the hill to walk back home.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Oh my, where has the time gone? School has been overwhelming as of late. I've still managed to make time for a little fun, but there is always so much more I want to do. 

I did get to do a little something for myself. My friend Stella and I made some door wreaths in honor of the fall weather we both hope is swiftly on its way. 

This is hers.

And this is mine!

It was so fun to make and wasn't very expensive. I love it. It looks so very fall. 

Little Clover has been living it up. She is the perfect dog for us. Can you tell? One day she will be entirely too big for this, so we're just enjoying it while we can.

Clover is a very sleepy puppy. She sleeps on Korey.

On the couch.

In the car

At the river

Ok, she didn't actually sleep at the river. 

Ace, Stella and Brad's dog, came too. 

And Nanette

And Stella and Brad, of course.

There is nothing more masculine than a man carrying a poodle.

and nothing sweeter than a poodle wrapped up tight in a blanket.

We got to see what Clover is going to look like in just a few months.

And we were so excited to see that Clover still loves the water!

She swam and played the whole time.

And of course, all that swimming and playing led to a lot more sleeping.

It's a hard knock life.