Thursday, September 30, 2010

2 years and counting

Our anniversary was perfect. It wasn't fancy or expensive, which was appropriate since I am neither. Korey was at a loss at what to do at first. We talked about it all weekend and made plans and changed plans and threw "You just plan it" back and forth. I spent all of Saturday and Sunday working at the school to prepare for my test and practical so I'm sure I wasn't the most patient or kind, and for that I am truly sorry. I am not always so graceful under pressure. And I love traditions and special days more than Korey does, so I'm sure he was feeling pressure to live up to my expectations. He feels like we should treat every day as if it were our anniversary. He has always been more practical than the traditional romantic. As I have said before, he has always been more likely to carry my shoes than hold my hand,


He has a servant's heart, and although I never thought to ask for that in a husband, I've found that it is one of my very favorite things about him. 

I am the queen of traditions. I love honoring a memory by repetition. I love communion, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas traditions. So when Korey bought cookies because we ate them last year instead of year old wedding cake, 


and took me to Mellow mushroom for pizza because that is what we ate on our wedding night since we didn't get to eat very much at our wedding reception, 


It was all that I needed to feel special and loved and like I married the perfect man for me.

He also made me double layer hershey bar brownies


bought me flowers


Mexican Coke



and made me bruschetta for lunch.

Sometimes school is so overflowing with intensity, pressure to perform, and criticism. And then I come home and I am a total failure at being a housewife. I have to study instead of clean, or some days when I should be cleaning, I avoid it because it all feels so insurmountable. It's enough to make a person want to crawl into bed and I would be lying if I said it never got to me to come home from a 12 hour work day at school and have more work to do. Such is life. I'm trying to be content with who I am, with what I have. A happy house, even if it's more likely to be messy than clean. A happy woman, even if I am more likely to be healthy than skinny. A great dentist, even if I cannot be perfect. I will never live up to that image of a skinny woman in her apron cleaning a house that already looks clean, but I do strive to be better than I am right now. Maybe do one more load of laundry, run one more mile in the morning before class, practice one more prep before I head home for the day.

And when I get home for the day, I try to remind myself that I am so blessed to be married to my best friend, the man who knows exactly how to make me melt, and loves me, even when the clothes don't get folded and the dishes don't get washed. 

It's not such a hard knock life.

3 comments:

  1. Oh Lindsey. I love and miss you, and I am so glad you have Korey to love and take care of you. You know why you fail at being a housewife? Because you're not one. You're a full-time student AND wife. If you WERE a housewife, you'd be like, the best one ever. When it feels insurmountable what do we do? We shine our sinks and smile at our beautiful reflections ;0) I'd take a happy, messy house any day over a miserable, clean one. And happy and healthy is SO much better than skinny! I'd rather have your rockin' boobs than be skinny anyways ;0)

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