Our Second Anniversary

Our second anniversary is on Monday.

Honestly, in a lot of ways, I still feel like a newlywed. It's almost as if we just got married a few weeks ago. Maybe it's because our lives are still so simple. We rent a small house. We're always struggling financially. We are always dreaming of someday, the house we'll have, the dental practice and how we'll run it. Today I've been dreaming of what we'll do for our 10th or 15th anniversary, especially since we won't be able to really celebrate this year. I have a test and a practical on tuesday, the day after our anniversary. So I've been dreaming of renewing our vows someday on a faraway beach or boat at sunset and the lanterns we'll release into the sky to the tune of"Till Kingdom Come" by Coldplay or "The One I Love" by David Gray. 

(I got that idea and the picture above from Kelle Hampton. They did this for her dad's 60th birthday and played "Forever Young." Her blog is amazing. You should check it out.)

It is so hard to live in the moment, to want the things that I already have. It is so much easier to think about things I want. I see pictures of the compassion child we support and how little other people have and the guilt starts setting in. I am so blessed. I have a roof over my head and food on my table. I have a full life, my sweet family and friends and work. I have the opportunity to be in dental school. Korey said to me the other day, "Just think, there is someone out there that would love the chance to be in your shoes" and I remember what it felt like to feel that way, to want to be accepted more than anything, but it is so hard to keep that attitude when I'm drowning in lab work and waking up at 4:30 in the morning to study. Every once in a while I'll get a glimpse of what I felt before, that love for knowledge and the feeling of finding what you were made to do. And then I'm back to treading water and dreaming of the day that I can do the backstroke with the sun on my face. Until then, I am counting my blessings, starting with my sweet, smart, supportive husband.

and my sweet Clover, asleep at my feet. 

So many things to be thankful for.