Monday, May 17, 2010

Journal entry 05/10/10

It's funny to think about the timing of answered prayers, much like a conversation with the responses jumbled. Some questions are answered before they even leave the lips, some in dialogue, and others so late that they cease to be questions at all, standing before God eternally. This morning I woke to the soft pitter patter of what was once a pounding rain, dripping from the eves of yellowed plastic and worn wooden railings, streaming past the small sealed window. With the rain has come relief, the cool, still air of morning washing away the stale, mugginess of the night before. The coolness is brief, the growing heaviness of heat filling up the small room while we meet and sing and pray and meet again, preparing for the work of today. God has goodness planned. We pray for steady hands and open hearts and mouths, for the ability to teach and humility to learn, for the skill to take away pain and suffering, for the words that will bring comfort and peace, for these people to have a better quality of life. And praises, always praises. For a safe journey, for opportunity and now alone in my room, I hear the answer to last nights prayer. The cry of my heart "Why send me, Lord? What can my meager hands do for You?" The gentle reproof of a spiral bound Bible study guide resounds with, "Jesus said to them, 'It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'" Mark 2:17 I am here because the sick need a doctor. I am here not because of my righteousness, but because I too am a sinner. Lord guide my hands today and always. Help me to provide healing for others as You have provided healing for me. You came to me in my sickness and eased my pain and now You have sent me here, to work with You, to help these people because of Your great love and compassion. Keep me steady in Your grip, confident in Your love and ability. Give me the courage to love without fear. Help me to see people as You see them, with unconditional love and understanding. Help me to love You as You have loved me. Mend me, Lord. Heal my brokenness and give me peace. I love You, Lord, my Savior, my Love, my Father. Amen.

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