Christmas Eve

As I sit here thinking of all the things I should be doing...finding that one last gift I know I had earlier today but didn't wrap, tying up loose Christmas ends, and trying to enjoy the night, I find that Christmas has already come....28 minutes ago. I feel so unprepared. I'm not ready. I haven't heard enough carols. I haven't  drunk nearly enough hot chocolate. I haven't sat by the Christmas tree and listened to "Evergreen" by Switchfoot on repeat. I guess Mary wasn't ready either. No baby bed. No midwife. Only a stable. Only a man and some shepherds to welcome her baby into the world. I am humbled. A king in a manger and I on my computer in my in-laws temperature controlled house, belly full (overly full) and presents all around. It's my heart that needs preparing for this day. So I pray, "God keep me mindful of this day, the day Your Son was born for me." Happy birthday, Jesus and Merry Christmas to all.



Goodnight moon.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

I've been taking pictures of Stella for 21 weeks and the number 1 question on everyone's mind has been....well...let's be honest...it's been "Are you having twins?" Oh to be all baby like that one day. I would give up anything...well except for food...which is probably why that won't happen for me. Sigh. I digressed.

So the number two question was obviously.....



And it was answered in true Stella fashion. Man, that girl loves to party. The theme of the night, a poem.

What are little boys made of? Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails, that is what boys are made of. What are little girls made of? Sugar and Spice and everything nice, that is what girls are made of.














Everyone wore pink or blue to show what their guess for the sex of the baby was. Except for Boo.



Boo preferred to stay switzerland and wore white.



Take note people. One day, I'm going to need one of these....ahem.

And now on to the grand reveal......



IT'S A GIRL!



Ace was the only one who was disappointed... I'm not sure why.



Nanette didn't give him a hard time or anything and was a lady about the whole thing....















Boo... he just wanted to know where Stella buys her sheets.



Me? I'm so happy that it's a girl, but I would've been equally happy if it had been a boy. I'm just amazed when I look at these pictures and think...wow...there's a little girl growing in there.

What a blessed miracle.

Letting my holiday freak flag fly

Ah. To breathe deep and know that school is no longer looming. It feels like Christmas morning already. I even woke up early with anticipation...well...not really. I just woke up early because my circadian rhythm didn't get the Christmas break message. I can hardly believe it's here.

I am a day studier. I always have been. Although, like my lactose intolerance, I haven't always acknowledged it. I have spent many caffeine induced all nighters, the result of which was usually regrets and verbal diarrhea. Since then, I've let go of my delusions of night owl grandeur and embraced my inner morning person. So during the last weekend to study for finals, I studied during the day and started raising my holiday freak flag at night. First up, Lights of the South. 100 acres and 4 million Christmas lights. Yes, please.



We chose to ride the hayride through the light display and it was magical.











We went back to Cinderella's castle and took cheesy pictures of ourselves.



We got our picture taken with Santa, who managed to demand in a non-creepy way that we both sit on his lap. I didn't even know there was a non-creeper way to say that to an adult. Santa's got game.



The very next night, we went to the lighting of the tree complete with fireworks.

I love these moments. Sometimes the monotony of dental school can get to me. All work and no play. Practice, practice, practice is the year long theme with no grand recital in sight. Such is life. At least my life has felt that way, a little like practicing the piano. Talent is God-given and man-refined, so I rally on. Practice. Practice. Practice. Oh the steady drum of life. It's the steady beat of practice that drives fear off the stage. I just keep on and I know that one day all my hard work will pay off, if not in spades, then in sweet dreams, peaceful slumber and heavy blankets on my bed at night. "A man reaps what he sows." Galations 6:7. I'm placing all my bets on that.

The cure for anything is saltwater; sweat, tears, or the sea.- Isak Dinesen

Finals are looming and my fight or flight is kicking into high gear. Traditionally I'm a fighter. Traditionally, I am traditional, but I am all out of sorts these days. I'm the one who loves the cool weather, fireplaces, and Christmas lights, hot cocoa, and baking to warm the house up, but suddenly, I am craving salty air and crashing waves. The thought of a warm and snowless Christmas has never before appealed to me, so I don't know why it suddenly seems like medicine for my soul. I keep picturing Christmas lights on palm trees and plastic pink flamingos with santa hats and a Christmas tree full of sea shells and sand dollars with a starfish on top to boot.

There is something calming about the sea, something about the way it is so magnificent, powerful and uncontrolled. Today I long to see it and feel the cold, wet sand beneath my toes. The ocean is in my blood encoded somewhere in my genes between the knack for cooking and getting sunburned in less than 30 minutes. 

Now it's time to get back to studying, to fight to the finish

but oh how my heart longs to be here instead.

I want to be free, 

Wind in my hair, 

Salt on my skin, 

Sun in the air.

-Gavin Degraw